 |
| Having my quiet time in Chicago July 2012 |
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. -Proverbs 31:20
During his talk he wanted to make it clear that too often we have our eyes on the wrong target. Our crosshairs are on the wrong things (looks, money, status, etc). We need to place our crosshairs when thinking about dating someone on GODLINESS.
This really struck a cord with me...
Six months ago a guy I had been friends with, and served with for over a year at The Porch, let me know that he wanted to pursue me with the intention of dating me. The day after he told me he left for Ethiopia. Which makes me laugh a little because he told me he liked me, and then immediately left the country for over a week. While he was out of town, I also took a trip to Chicago for a mini vacation. There while having a quiet time I started thinking..."I've dated some nice guys, and some not so nice guys, but it's never worked out for me. What am I doing wrong?" I realized that I needed to go back to the drawing board and look NOT at "what do I want for myself?" I need to look at "what does GOD want for me?" Part of me really thinking through this is because this guy that wanted to pursue me was my friend, and I genuinely respected him so much. I didn't want to date him just because he asked and I liked having a guys attention. I wanted to be sure I really liked him specifically. I didn't want to put myself out there again to be hurt if I didn't see this being something that would honor the Lord, and if I didn't see the Lord's hand in our relationship. Titus 2 immediately came to mind. I opened up my bible and wrote out characteristics of a godly man from this chapter:
Temperate. Worthy of respect. Self-controlled. Sound in faith, in love, and in endurance. Self-controlled. An example of good. Integrity. Seriousness. Soundness of speech. Respectful of authority. Trustworthy. Says "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions. Self-controlled. Eager to do good.
Literally as I was writing down these traits of godliness his name came to mind...Ryan.
 |
| Ryan and I in Haiti October 2012 |
Blameless. Not-overbearing. Not quick tempered. Not given to drunkenness. Not violent. Not pursuing dishonest gain. He is hospitable. Loves what is good. Self-controlled. Upright. Holy and disciplined. He holds firmly to God's word.
Putting the crosshairs on godliness has been the best thing I've done when it comes to dating. Removing anything I thought I needed, and fully focusing on what the Lord would want for me has been such a game changer.
As Ryan has pursued godliness it has helped me be more godly as well. I know his leadership is helping me become more and more of a Proverbs 31 woman. Even times when he is a little off or doesn't display some of these traits, he confesses to his community, and me when needed. He seeks forgiveness, and works on becoming more like Christ.
I love that we were already friends, I knew his reputation, I had seen him serve selflessly for over a year, and seen the way he treated his friends and those around him. He does an amazing job of pushing me towards Christ, instead of just pulling me towards himself. I am blessed to be dating the godliest man I know.
Ladies, any advice I could give you when it comes to dating would come down to this...throw your list out the window. Look to the Lord, and seek his Word to find out what a godly man is. Say "no" to men who do not display these traits, don't waste your time. If a guy is doing/saying things that are not aligned with Christ, don't ignore that and hope that he'll change. Say "yes" to men who do display these traits, even if you had never even considered dating them before. You aren't going to date Jesus, so don't put that pressure on a guy. He isn't going to be perfect, but it's vital that he is following the one that is perfect...Jesus.
ps. How are you doing on these traits listed above? You want a godly man, but does godliness mark your life?
No comments:
Post a Comment