Stop Yelling Please

I sat with Ryan last night and for the first time tried to put into words my heartache. I still don't think I can put into words everything I am feeling inside.There is so much yelling going on from both sides that we are drowning out the hurting and brokenhearted. We are silencing the scared. As our voices get louder, the ones we should hear from are getting quieter, and I'm not ok with that. I'm talking about the Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life debate and can't sit silent as our state rallies around a woman because she can speak for half a day wearing sneakers. Anyone who knows me, knows I could talk all day long, and I love tennis shoes. I don't think what Wendy Davis did was anything special, I could talk all day long too. I've sat with women for the last three years who have had abortions or are thinking about having one. Their stories break my heart. I have a lot I'd love to share, but for today I'll just share some of the stories of the women who have chosen abortion...

THE CHURCH GIRL

My heart breaks for the girl who's grown up in church and is too afraid to tell her parents she is pregnant. Her parents have never really talked to her about sex, and don't really ask her questions about her relationships with guys. She's overheard them say things about others who have gotten pregnant and she feels embarrassed to come to them with the news that she is pregnant. What will they think? Will she ruin the "perfect church family" appearance they have going on? She doesn't want to let them down and is afraid of how they might respond. She aborts her child.Growing up she misunderstood the Gospel and God's grace. She thinks she's committed an unforgivable sin. She ends up walking away from the church out of shame, guilt, and fear. Her parents have no idea what all their daughter has gone through. She losses apart of herself. 

THE HIGH SCHOOL GIRL

My heart breaks for the girl who gets pregnant in high school and her parents are too prideful to help their daughter. The parents are too afraid of what the neighbors might think. They care more about what people might think, than the grandchild they could have. One of her parents drives her to the clinic to "get rid of the problem" and tells her never to tell anyone. Her parents, maybe even thinking what they are doing is loving, put guilt and shame on their daughter.Their daughter ends up pregnant again and this time she doesn't tell her parents because she knows the advice they will give her. She feels like the only option is abort her child. By the time she is 25 she's had four. She's numbed herself to the world. She losses apart of herself.

THE CAREER DRIVEN GIRL

My heart breaks for the girl in college or out of college with a great career path. She finds out she's pregnant and thinks there are really only two options: have a child and put her career on hold or even lose her job, or get rid of the child and keep on like nothing happened. She doesn't see how it would work to have both. Years later she's become successful and starts to wonder what life would have been like if she would have chosen to have her child. She's been a success at everything else and starts to realize that she could have probably been a success as a mother too. She puts all her efforts into work, even letting go of possible relationships along the way, because she has to make sure she does well enough to validate her decision to abort her child. She wakes up 40 years old, yes financially successful, but alone. She losses apart of herself. 

THE GIRL WITH A PASSIVE BOYFRIEND

My heart breaks for the girl who's boyfriend is passive and doesn't protect his girlfriend and child when she find's out she's pregnant. She doesn't know what to do and prays that he'll step up and help her. He doesn't say much, or really take a stand either way so she feels he doesn't want the child. Even up the point of taking the pills or having the surgery she isn't sure she is making the right decision, won't he help her? She aborts their child. They don't talk about it again, and slowly she starts to resent his passivity. Slowly he starts to resent her. Their relationship is broken. She losses apart of herself. 

THE GIRL WITH AN AGGRESSIVE BOYFRIEND

My heart breaks for the girl who finds out she is pregnant and her boyfriend doesn't want a child. He doesn't want the financial burden. He curses her, even beats her if she won't go to the clinic. He drives her and sits in the car outside while she goes in. She rationalizes this decision because she "can handle him", but can't bring a child into this situation. Or she is legitimately afraid for her life. She aborts her child and in her mind thinks she is worth nothing. She looses apart of herself. 

THE QUICK FIX BOYFRIEND

My heart breaks for the girl who is in a sexual relationship, finds out she's pregnant, and the guy casually and almost in a loving way let's her know it's ok he can give her money for an abortion. He lets her know he loves her and it will be ok. He tells her that once they get married they can have a family together, but for now they should wait. She wants his love so desperately that a large part of her feels like this is him taking care of her and loving her well. She aborts her child. A year later they break up and it hits her she's lost him, and she lost a child. She starts to regret the decisions she's made. She looses apart of herself. 

THE UNLOVABLE GIRL

My heart breaks for the girl who's had guy after guy leave her or cheat on her. She's never known what love really looks like. She finds out she is pregnant and goes to tell the guy she has been dating, only to learn he has also been dating someone else. She decides to stay silent and doesn't tell him she is pregnant. In her mind he obviously doesn't love her and doesn't want him to chose her just because she might have his child. She can't take the heartache any more. She feels completely unlovable and alone. She aborts her child and tells no one. She continues looking for love in all the wrong places. She looses apart of herself. 

My heart breaks for the 1 in 3 women who have an abortion. 

My heart breaks that a majority of them have not experienced the love, forgiveness, healing, and redemption found in Jesus Christ.

My heart breaks for the women who have kept this secret for such a long time they have numbed themselves to it and have convinced themselves it hasn't affected their lives. 

My heart breaks for the women as they hear the church people calling them murderers and other horrific names that places them more and more into places of guilt and shame. How can they ever speak up and say they are hurting and want help with all the condemnation?

My heart breaks for women as mother's day comes around every year and apart of them wants to cry as they realize this is their day too. They had a child, but they try to get that knot out of their throat, possibly even still trying to convince themselves what others told them- it wasn't a child.

My heart breaks for the men that have been apart of abortions and have just as much hurt, guilt, and shame. No one really thinks of them or how this has affected them. This was their child too. 

My heart breaks...

I pray that your heart breaks too. 

Church yes, absolutely, let's stand up for life, but let's stand up and also love our daughters, sisters, and friends well. 

Be a place of love and forgiveness. 

Be the hands and feet of Christ before girls end up pregnant, while they are pregnant, and if they have made a decision that they often wish they could take back...

I am pro-life. I believe that there are two lives lost when abortion is chosen, the child and apart of the mother. I believe we should stand up for the unborn children and love well those who have not chosen life.