"This face is truly the face of pro-life. He is a gift from our Heavenly Father, but he is also the product of a rape. Yes, my rape was a date rape. Some guy didn't hijack me in my car and rape me. I sometimes feel that it was worse. I trusted this person enough to go out on a date with him. Do I wish it wouldn't have happened? Sometimes, but am I glad that I chose the right decision? Yes!
Max Noah, my son, has been the hardest and easiest decision I have ever made. In one way, I had to face what happened to me and give up the lifestyle I thought I "needed" to be happy. My decision was also very easy. His life was an innocent life. He didn't choose to be conceived in the way he was. I had an amazing pregnancy due to the fact that I forgave his father, from afar, and surrounded myself with beautiful believers who poured Truth into my life. Yes, abortion would have been the "easy" fix to bandage up my broken, Godless life, but instead, I shallowed my pride, exposed my sin and came to Christ. I, not only, saved Max's life but he saved mine. I don't look at Max and think about that horrible night. I look into my sweet boy's eyes and see hope and future. God wanted this miracle on this earth. Yes, every rape and situation is different, but there are other options. Kissing my son to sleep at night, teaching him how to speak, taking him to the park are all things I wouldn't have had the pleasure to do if I would have picked the "easy" way out.
I want to apologize to Max and to The Lord daily for allowing abortion to cross my mind. Being a single mom is hard. I wish our circumstances were different, but God knows what we need and blesses us daily. This plan wasn't ideal, but God never forsakes us and we are never alone.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)"
*Note: Less than 2% of abortions are from rape situations. Carly is one of a few friends I know who have chosen life when finding out they were pregnant after being raped. I am so proud of these beautiful women and that they chose life going through such a heartbreaking time. Their children are beautiful and I've witnessed how, although it's been hard, they truly see their child as a gift.
I've also met women who chose abortion from rape and have shared with me that they now see how the abortion didn't help fix or heal anything, but only put them into further depression, guilt, and shame. They have told me that the rape was someone doing something terrible to them, but that the abortion was them doing something terrible to their child. I praise God that his grace and love abounds and that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, and like Carly shared, that our God never leaves us nor forsakes us.
I am praying that women who have been raped and chosen either life or abortion would find healing, love, and hope. Our church has an incredible ministry called Shelter from the Storm if rape is apart of your story, and also has a ministry called Someone Cares if abortion is. I pray that women wouldn't feel like they have to keep these things secret and "deal with it on their own", but be surrounded by other women who have been in the same situation and can help one another. Here are links to these ministries:
Shelter from the Storm
Someone Cares
Thank you Carly for sharing your story. I love that our God can take something so tragic and make something beautiful- YOU and precious Max Noah.
22 comments:
It's so wonderful to see how God is using Carly and Max to show His grace, redemption, and love!
Almost 2% of all abortions are fetuses conceived by rape? Over 1 million abortions occur per year, which means about 20,000 women in the US are in a similar situation every year.
It is terrifying that some members of society and the legislature want to force these women's lives to change without regard to where they are in their lives.
I worked with impoverished women struggling to raise children conceived from rape. In such conditions, their kids are much more likely to turn to crime and drugs. In fact, some of them did. Women who were fighting their way through high school had to drop out in order to raise these children all by themselves. Well not completely by themselves. They are indefinitely living off the government. I say indefinitely because they have been unable to access proper education or hold jobs that build their skills. It is an endless loop that breaks my heart.
A family of 4 lives in perpetual suffering because the woman did not have access to abortion for her first child or birth control for the other 2 children. Her oldest boy was associated with boys who broke into a convenience store. Now the family is being evicted. Hopefully the grace of God will show himself near the overpass at highway 635.
So, "Anonymous," let me get your logic straight:
Forcing "women's lives to change" is a greater evil than "killing innocent children."
If a child is "much more likely to turn to crime and drugs," it is better to preemptively kill them instead.
And you basically say that having no life at all is better than being alive and poor. What's wrong with killing them now, if that's the case? It's the same person we're talking about, after all. Just a difference in timing.
It seems like a better response to the problems you mention is not a quick fix, but loving long-term help...which this post is explicitly offering.
P.S. This post actually said nothing at all about outlawing abortion in cases of rape, or in any cases at all. And recent legislation also does not outlaw abortion in either case.
Dear Anonymous,
My name is Kirk. Let me first say that I love where your heart is at with respect to families that have been affected by rape. I don't presume to know what it's like to go through this, and I can only imagine the challenges that come with living with this reality and, possibly, with the ramifications of this reality.
As you can probably guess, Ms. Black is speaking from the standpoint of the intrinsic worth that she (and I and all Christians) believes each life possesses - based on the belief in a loving and just God who created us - quite regardless of whether or not the mother's life is "burdened" with this new life. Without that basis, it would seem to me difficult to rationalize what she is saying. I cannot tell whether or not you believe in this same God based on your post, but I can tell you that He is real and that He loves that mother and that kiddo that was a product of rape and also those subsequent kiddos who were a product of lack of birth control. He loves them more than you and I even know how to love another person. And He loves them and you and me so very much that He is willing to challenge us on this earth so that we may know the beauty and awesomeness of an eternal life in His presence.
I hope you will feel comfortable to email (kwsears@gmail.com) or call/text (2156684980) me sometime if you want to talk more about this. Your passion for this conversation intrigues me and I want to be able to hear more about your perspective.
God Know You Needed To Be Date Rapped And Made To Be A Single Parent.. Wow!!! Any One Who Believes The Woman Shouldn't Have The Right To Choose, Should Move To A Country Ran By A Dictator Leadership. Our Countries Foundation Is Based On People Having The Right To Make Their Own Decisions. What Gives Any Of You The Right To Determine What Is Best For Another Person?
God doesn't want anyone to be date raped. He didn't intend for any of us to suffer. And He promises us that vengeance is His. Sin has smudged us and this world, making it what it currently is. And we all agree it is ugly and filled with hate and violence and greed and sexual perversion (e.g. rape, etc.). But God knows, and He wants us to know, that the sufferings we incur on this earth because of sin are nothing compared to the awesomeness that will become of us with Him someday if we trust in Him. And therein lies the key: that this world is not the best thing we have going for us. As believers, the ugliness of this earth is as close to hell as we will ever get, thanks to God's grace and mercy and kindness. We are all going to exist after this life is over; and He wants us to be with Him eternally. He also desires that we respect the lives of others while on this earth, quite regardless of whether or not that innocent life is convenient to us in the short-term. It's not an easy concept, but it's true.
Obviously I don't know you, Anonymous, but I care about you and hope you will feel free to contact me sometime if you want to discuss this further.
Carly, thank you for coming to Jesus, for your courage to begin to do what is RIGHT, for now loving your precious baby boy whom GOD CREATED! God KNOWS that the JOY of His life and the JOY of being enveloped in HIS love, HIS faithful plan to bless you and Max all the days of your life... ALL of that is GREATER than any past pain. Your FUTURE and Max's are in God's Hands and His hands are full of love, forgiveness, tenderness, GREAT JOY and fulfillment, as your continue to walk with Jesus Christ step by step. THANK YOU for sharing your story!!!
["Anonymous" from July 10 at 2:45pm]
Perhaps I should have clarified in my post that I do not except Jesus Christ into my heart. I was raised Christian, but I stopped following when my questions were no longer being answered.
How was Jesus' sacrifice such a big deal if he knew he was the son of God (and thus that heaven existed) and capable of coming back to life and then rising to heaven?
Why does God allow bad people to rape and molest little children? Not only that, He watches. We are to believe that he will punish them later. If the bad people are believers, they are going to heaven despite touching little Tommy's genitals. How can letting little Tommy get fondled be "part of God's mysterious plan"?
If He is a God of love and acceptance, why can't I choose to believe what I want to believe? Shouldn't an all-loving God applaud me for thinking for myself and being a good person simply for that sake? You have to think at least some believers do good things *only* because they are afraid of God's wrath. Those people scare me. What if God told them to murder their first-born son?? Maybe your God doesn't always choose "life"...
["Anonymous" again]
Grammar mistake: "except" should be "accept"
Dear Anonymous,
It seems a big point of clarification in addressing your last question - and, really, all your questions - is whether or not you believe in God? If you do not, then we should be having a different conversation - because nothing we talk about here will mean much otherwise - and I am more than happy to do so. There is also a great group that meets every week at Watermark church (watermark.org) on Mondays at 730p in which believers and non-believers alike get together and discuss the very questions you have right now.
If you do believe in the God of the bible, though, then I am confused by your logic. If God exists - and if one believes that He does exist - then it seems a dangerous and risky thing to dictate to this Creator the "terms" by which we will agree to support and pursue Him and His ways.
With regard to a loving God, I would suggest to you that a truly loving God desires our ultimate good over simply wanting to grant our every wish and please our every whim. I would ask you how much you would consider a mother "loving" if she "loved" her child so much that she never told him "no" in an attempt to avoid upsetting him, to the point that he frequently ran into the street and played with matches and jumped around with scissors in his hand. I would not consider that loving at all.
P.S. I apologize, forgot to mention the name of the group that meets is called Great Questions - http://www.watermark.org/ministries/great-questions/
Kirk, thank you for reaching out to me. I know your heart is in a good place by wanting to show me your understanding of your God's message. Honestly, I do not expect you to be able to quell any of my concerns.
All of your logic will start from the premise that God wrote the Bible. There is no evidence of it outside of the Bible itself. Thus, I must give in to circular logic in order for you and I to have any common ground.
Suppose that somehow works. You must then convince me that God is good and deserving of my worship. For example, the Bible shows this God sending bears to maul 42 children simply because they made fun of a man's baldness. (2 Kings 2:23-25) Here are some possible explanations:
1) God works in mysterious ways. If this is your explanation, then our discussion is over. I refuse to waste time debating someone who is incapable of reasoning in a logical fashion.
2) "children" was mistranslated and actually means "young men". Well, what else in the Bible was mistranslated? After all, this book was passed down by word of fallible and illiterate humans for generations before finally being written. Even so, the many transcriptions are not the same. After several translations into Greek and old English, perhaps a few more things were written wrong. Until you learn Hebrew, you are probably not reading "the word of God."
3) Further, I have read explanations that suggest these verses were actually about young men making fun of someone for his leprosy and religion. If you believe that God was right to punish such actions by death, then I have 2 questions. A) Do you still believe your God is good? B) Do you agree that the true teachings of the Bible are almost impossible to know for certain, and therefore living a good life as a good person is just as good as living strictly by a misinterpretation of the Bible. (You may argue that you do not live by a misinterpretation of the Bible. That may be true. You may have always lived by the belief that mocking someone's baldness, leprosy, and/or religion are cause for death. In which case, Christians may be a lot more similar to extremist Muslims than they both care to admit.)
Anonymous,
let me first say I get the feeling I have been speaking with more than one person using the "Anonymous" label. Feel free to let me know who I'm speaking to, although if you're uncomfortable with it, no worries. I enjoy our conversation and am glad you are speaking with me I definitely appreciate the civility of our conversation and suspect the most recent post is not the same person as some of the previous ones.
I must correct you about one thing, which is that my logic is based on the premise that God wrote the bible. This is technically not true. It is based on the premise that God exists. Further, I think where we differ is that I think it is dangerous to test the validity and truth of a text, let alone 20-30 words within a text of over 774,000 words, based on whether or not that tiny bit of text conforms to one's viewpoint on what is "right" or "good". If God exists, and if He did supernaturally oversee the writing of the bible (which is an entirely separate conversation in itself), then if one is really searching for truth, it should not and cannot matter whether or not we, on the surface, agree with anything or everything within it. You have, no doubt, read much more of the bible than 2 Kings. I suspect you would not consider the bible to be "more true" because of Christ's teaching on kindness and selflessness and humility toward others, ideas which our culture obviously accepts unanimously as "good".
So to me the question that stands beyond God's existence is: is the bible the written word of God? If you deny this because of the sometimes difficult text within it, then obviously I cannot force you to do otherwise. But I hope and am praying this very moment that you would ask yourself whether or not that is the best decision in the search for truth.
Kirk,
No. This is the same "Anonymous" except for the one that capitalized the first letter of every single word in their comment and the other one who thanked Carly for coming to Jesus. I hope you understand that I'd rather not disclose my identity. It's not particularly safe to live openly agnostically atheist in Texas. For simplicity, you can call me Pat.
To answer your question, I decline to accept the veracity of the Bible not just for the text but also due to the sparse historical evidence of its stories.
For example, a century of archaeological research has failed to uncover any evidence of Moses and his people living as slaves in Egypt and eventually making a mass exodus. Perhaps there are no Christian archaeologists. Perhaps these non-Christian archaeologists have conspired to cover up any findings that would prove the Bible's veracity. Such a thing is possible, but I find that conspiracy about as difficult to believe as the Bible itself.
However, wouldn't I be better off just accepting the Bible for its excellent teachings of love and respect? No. I can't force myself to believe something just because I REALLY wish it to be true. It is a book of entertaining stories that provide examples of "good" and "evil". So too do the Harry Potter novels. Ironically, Voldemort was the character that killed thousands of people, while in the Bible it was God who killed almost 3 million people. (The antagonist Satan killed 10.)
You see, if one believes in a God of love and respect, wouldn't that God love us even if we do not believe the famous story of his one and only son? You have to admit that if you heard the story for the first time as an adult, and if you didn't know anyone else believed it, you would think: Umm, that story is pretty far-fetched. A man died to rid me of MY original sin -- a sin that I somehow acquired before I even existed? Thanks, buddy. Why don't you go tell the federal government that I stubbed my toe to relieve you of your college loans.
Wouldn't a loving God be proud to see a person who adapts their morality by what they feel in their heart is right and wrong? Sure, they can use biblical stories for guidance. But the Bible also advocates slavery, misogyny, and having hundreds of wives like King Solomon. Even the 10 Commandments forbids us from saying "Yahweh" in a sarcastic tone while raping someone seems to be okay. Without having to accept it as fact, I find Dumbledore's integrity much more appealing than most stories I've heard from the Bible, even Jesus' sacrifice.
Well, I can definitely understand your skepticism based on some of the stories of the bible. Reality is rarely, if ever, what one would expect or wish. If someone informed me or you, before it came to be common knowledge, that there were eight planets in our solar system all revolving around the sun, my guess is we would've expected them to be equidistant from each other, or progressively larger or smaller as they get further from the sun, or with incrementally increasing or decreasing distance from each other. But it turns out none of these are true. Planet size varies greatly as distance from the sun increases; some have moons, one has one moon, some have no moons; and one has a ring.
Harry Potter is a great FICTIONAL story packed full of good lessons and morals. If it were non-fiction, it would, no doubt, be packed full of man's ineptitude and corruption scattered frequently on its pages. One could predict this with a high confidence level when observing man's craving for sex, violence, and power throughout recent and ancient history. It seems to me that if the writers of the bible were writing something that weren't necessarily true, in order to convey a certain message about mankind's own greatness amid an imaginary god, it wouldn't have been nearly as "messy" as it is. We can definitely agree that the event throughout the bible are messy.
Regarding the reliability of the Old and New Testaments, as well as archeological evidence, I would have to disagree that there have been no findings within the last century. This is simply not true. I will not inundate you here with links, but a simple internet search for archeological evidence of the old testament will provide seemingly endless sources of well-documented discoveries that continue to increase in number nearly every year. The majority of these are, understandably, within the last 100 years. This is on top of the undeniable fact (not opinion) that the bible was written by 40 different authors spread out over three different continents in a period of about 1500 years, and all the while maintaining a central unifying theme throughout its message.
You should really come check out the Great Questions class I mentioned earlier. It is a great environment for discussions like we're having, and is filled with both believers and agnostic athiests such as yourself. I give you my word there is no animosity toward you there. Actually quite the opposite.
[Same "Anonymous"...]
Kirk,
I am sorry, but the fact that reality is imperfect does not explain why the 10 Commandments admonishes saying the Lord's name in a negative way while remaining silent on an act such as rape. (You may argue that forbiddance of the act is consumed within the fact that women were considered man's property during biblical times. If so, then somewhere along the way, our society lost its way when it started treating women as equals.)
I have no idea why you would expect our 8 planets to follow some kind of over-simplified pattern regarding size or distance from the sun. From what we know about supernovae and the resulting collisions and gas accumulations that formed this solar system, it would be incredibly foolish to expect the planets to form into some kind of pattern that is aesthetic based on a 4th grader's understanding of science. Such aesthetics would be expected if the solar system had been created through intelligent design.
Like the Bible, Harry Potter novels also convey man's greed and corruption. Granted, your point is valid: The Bible contains such vices because man has many vices. However, what the Bible lacks is condemnation of the misogyny against women (they are treated as property; raping a woman is punished by being forced to marry her; Solomon is permitted hundreds of wives) and owning other humans as slaves. I realize that no book can be universally perfect with changing times, but you would think God's book would do a better job of staying relevant.
I have looked for archaeological evidence of the Bible in the past and again at your encouragement. It is extremely weak. Biased Christian websites are the only ones that assert there is concrete evidence. Other types of "evidence" like the Dead Sea Scrolls do NOT support the veracity of the Bible. Instead, they offer background to the geographies and societies that existed in the Biblical setting. It is akin to how Harry Potter novels are set in modern day Britain. You would not consider the London Times to be evidence that the Harry Potter stories actually happened.
Once again, I thank you for the intellectual debate. Very few adamant believers would willingly engage in this kind of debate. And I know your heart truly is in a good place. However, I must admit that I am not yet convinced to attend the Great Questions class. You see, we are debating about whether the Bible was written under God's direction and whether the stories in it are accurate. In a debate, both sides must be able to concede to logic if the other is able to prove his side. As an agnostic, I admit that you may be right. As a Christian, I do not think you are open to being proven wrong. To be open to that, you would have to admit that you are not 100% sure the Bible is true. That would mean you doubt God himself. Yours is "a jealous God" that would probably not appreciate such a half-hearted worship.
Well, let me say, Anonymous (I refuse to call you Pat; sorry, but it reminds me of the SNL character, and I doubt that's what you look like, although now that I think about it I guess it doesn't matter), that I have enjoyed visiting with you as well.
I have to say I'm a little confused as to why you - and many non-believers/agnostics/non-thiests such as yourself - are so interested in referencing the old testament laws. These teachings have been replaced with the new covenant of Christ, which not only advocates against misogyny (Matthew 5:28, Matt 22:37-40, Philippians 2:3, etc.) but also commands that we love, respect, and protect women with our own lives (Ephesians 5:25-8, John 15:13, etc.). Although you don't believe in the truth of the bible, I would be happy to provide many more verses if you would like. The old testament laws are important, and their role is worth talking about, but they are superseded by anything and everything that Christ taught. It is not a simple concept, but again, reality generally isn't simple. Especially for someone like me with only a 4th grade education. :)
I hope you will re-consider Great Questions sometime. Again, it is not designed to "pounce and invalidate the athiests". It is truly designed to provide intelligent and civilized dialogue to those who seek truth. And after all, isn't that what we're all after? I suspect you would enjoy it. I can assure you that you won't be the only skeptic there.
Lastly, I want to clarify something with which we agree, which is that our God truly is a jealous God. And He is jealous of you, too. Even if you don't yet believe in Him.
I'm not sure I would consider this a true debate, at least in the sense that both parties respect each other's opinion. "Anonymous" frequently mocks God and those who trust in God which, although this is by no means inexcusable, is hardly conducive to an intelligent, respectful debate. Secondly, this is not even a debate forum. "Anonymous" felt compelled to deride Allyson Black's blog with his/her strong opinion against abortion legislation - a topic which has nothing to do with the blog post - and this is how the "debate" began.
That a discussion spawned in a segue from the original debate does not make said discussion any less of a valid debate. You may be fair to argue with the forum, but I find the issues so meaningfully intertwined. In fact, Kirk pointed this out as the basis for disagreement on the abortion issue.
Likewise, I have tried to refrain from mockery because it only diminishes the effectiveness of my argument. I have tried to use humor in a reducto ad absurdum to make a few of my points. I apologize if you are offended, but I do not retract my statements.
The reason I find the original post offensive and felt the need to comment is because the post implies that women who choose abortion have gone against God. ("Yes, abortion would have been the 'easy' fix..." followed by "I want to apologize ... to The Lord daily for allowing abortion to cross my mind.") Is it because abortion prohibits the child from becoming baptized and therefore accepting Jesus into their hearts? Yet 50% of pregnancies miscarry; in truth God aborts more innocent babies than the totality of humanity. Those children exist forever in limbo because God refused to give them the opportunity to accept Jesus. Ally's post perpetuates a society that looks down upon a woman for aborting her child as if it was an "easy fix" to an inconvenient situation. Such an opinion is based on religious beliefs that refuse to factor in the reality of the woman's situation as well as the father who often runs from the associated responsibility. To me, it is an insensitive and outdated opinion, and it continues to shape our legal system in ways that affect my life. If the system was drawn out of love, then it would include adequate means of support for these women and children. (http://nhne-pulse.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/stephen-colbert-on-jesus.jpeg)
Kirk, I apologize if you took offense to my jest. You are a great person, and I of course do not believe you have the education of a 4th grader. However, we are all capable of viewing various aspects of the world through such a lens. (My nephew and I spent 20 minutes bouncing a ball on our heads. A part of me enjoyed the game regardless of whether my nephew was there.)
For example, I see the beauty of the solar system for its chaotic nature in addition to the stories of how the sun, planets, moons, and asteroid belt may have come to form. Such scientific discovery was impossible for the majority of human existence, even if you believe the Earth has only existed for 6,000 years. Thus, a God with a goal of impressing upon humanity His power to create beauty would surely create such beauty in a form that humanity could appreciate. Sizing and spacing out the planets in an arithmetic or even geometric nature would accomplish this objective for humans 2,000 years ago and even more so for astronomers and physicists of today.
Anyway, I do not see how your quoted Bible verses teach against misogyny. Perhaps I mis-googled them, but only the first refers specifically to women. A man should not look upon a woman with lustful intent... yet women are permitted to gaze lustfully upon a half-naked man? Also, 1 Peter 3:7 refers to wives as the "weaker partner" requiring the husband's protection. 1 John 2:13 is written only to men and ignores women. 1 Timothy 2:12 states: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."
Anyway, I have always understood the Old Testament to be the word of God. This may be an easy question (I've failed to find the answer in a google search), but how does the New Testament explain that it supersedes the Old Testament? I'm curious whether there are sources for this understanding or whether it is more or less a commonly held Christian belief.
[continued]
I hesitated to click "publish" on that previous comment. I am sure I have overstayed my welcome.
I apologize to you, Ally, for effectively hijacking your story. I assume you are able to delete my comments if you do not want them on your blog.
"Anonymous #1",
I'm confused as to why you would be offended by the blog's implication that abortion is against the will of a God when you do not believe that He exists.
You seem to be using the term "misogyny" to mean "men not treating women as if they were exactly the same as each other in every regard" rather than its actual definition: the hatred, disrespect, or mistrust of women. Misogyny is not the word I would use to characterize the Christian view toward women - at least not in the since of the original meaning of the word. To be fair, however, as it is used in our current culture of ever-converging gender roles, perhaps I would be incorrect. When one really delves into Christ's teaching, I think it would become clear that women are sacrifically loved, honored, and respected both within and outside of marriage. Regardless, because this conversation seems to continue to spur off into endless tangents of tangents, I will reiterate the offer to email me (kwsears@gmail.com) if you want to discuss it in more detail. Short bits on someone else's blog page would do neither the Christian viewpoint of gender roles nor Ms. Black's blog page any justice. Hope to hear from you sometime, Anonymous #1!
Anonymous #1:
First of all how dare you use this lovely blog to further your twisted agenda. We are believers in Christ and wish only for peace and love in the world. Allyson, your words are inspirational.
Anonymous #1, you need to read Timothy 2:12 again. It doesn't teach disrespect or distrust of women like you claim. Maybe you should come to church and study the bible before making wild accusations.
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